Reflections

I haven't been blogging all week because our modem at home is spotty these days and also because I haven't had a lot of down time at work. However, I'd like to take a few minutes and address the Chris Benoit story in some detail.

As some of you know, I am a pretty big wrestling fan, even if I haven't tuned in much over the last couple of years. The reasons for that are pretty much two-fold; a change in schedule concerning the WWE's major programming and also the heavy promotion of a character who I just can't stomach by the name of John Cena. However, I am still very familar with Benoit, having watched him live at least three times that I can remember off the top of my head, including his world championship loss to Randy Orton at Summerslam 2004. I was never a fan of his character like I have been for others because he was terrible on the stick and also because he always reminded me of the low-budget, confused and frankly embarassing WCW to me, no matter how successful he was in the WWF (it will never be the WWE in my world).

Something that some readers may also know is that I've had my own issues with mental health in the past. Specifically, I am a long-time sufferer of panic and anxiety attacks with a little bit of depression to go with it, which, thankfully, I pretty much have under control these days (after much hell, I might add). There was a time not long ago when I realized that if I was to properly deal with things, I needed help. Thankfully, I was able to ask for and receive it. I wasn't on steroids, and nor was I dealing with issues relating to fame and/or family, so I can't begin to speculate what might have been tearing Benoit apart. Perhaps it's because I'm acutely sensitive to these things, but to me, the bottom line is that what he did was not the actions of a rational human being in full grasp of their own faculties. That won't change what happened, but in many ways, this was a preventable tragedy. In effect, it's a reminder to everyone that if you're dealing with any kind of prolonged mental or emotional difficulty that seems to be manifesting itself in ways that don't seem right to you, be sure to stop for a minute and really consider asking for help.

Reaching out could be as simple as dropping in to your local mental health association during their office hours and chatting with someone who has gone through the same thing you have. It could be registering for a workshop of some kind, or maybe seeing a counselor on a regular or semi-regular basis. There is no shame in that. Nor is there any shame in taking medication. The way I see it is this: if you had diabetes or a thyroid condition, you'd do what was necessary to take care of it, so the same should apply when things don't seem right upstairs. We are only human and none of us can completely understand how we're programmed. Now granted, there are some folks out there who would dismiss what I'm saying, and I can't imagine how one could get to a point where they don't know the difference between right and wrong, but there's no point in trying to explain the inexplicable except to say that if you ever, for one minute, are concerned about your mental health, put your ego aside, stop trying to rationalize things, recognize that maybe you don't have all the answers, and just get yourself to a professional who can help you get back on the right track.

It's worth making that call.

I know, because I did it.