Go Leafs Go

What's the difference between the Leafs and a cigarette machine?
The cigarette machine has Players.

Guy buys big-screen TV and invites buddy over to watch hockey game. Leafs score first goal and guy's dog barks, jumps up and down and wags its tail for five minutes. Buddy asks what that's all about. Guy says he always does that when the Leafs score a goal. "Wow that's amazing! What does the dog do when Leafs win a game?" "Oh, I don't know. I've only had him for two years."

Why is the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto?
That's the only way the Stanley Cup will ever be in Toronto.

Leaf officials announced that the club would wear brown uniforms next year.
Apparently Leafs do change colours when they fall.

Why don't the Leafs drink tea?
Because the Canadiens have all the Cups.

What do you call $37 million worth of mannequins?
The Toronto Maple Leafs.

Why doesn't Hamilton have an NHL team?
Because then Toronto would want one too.

How many Leaf fans does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change the bulb and five to tell everyone how good the last one used to be.

Do you know how many Leafs players it takes to win the Stanley Cup?
No?...Me neither.

A Canadian peacekeeper is on patrol in the Middle East when he stumbles across a lantern half buried in the sand. He picks it up, rubs it and out comes a genie. The genie tells the peacekeeper he can grant him one wish - anything he wants. The peacekeeper pulls out a map of the region and says he wants nothing more than peace throughout the region - no more fighting.
"Wow," says the genie, "that's a tough one. Do you want anything else?"
The peacekeeper thinks a moment and asks, "How about my Leafs winning the Stanley Cup?", to which the genie replies, "Let me see that map again."

And my personal favourite:

Pat Quinn took $100 million worth of hockey players to Torino and in just two weeks he turned them into the Toronto Maple Leafs.