Number of single moms in Canada up nearly 70% over last two decades
This is a major societal problem.
Kids need both parents ... a mom AND a dad.
The long-term societal costs of single parenthood are huge in terms of crime, drug abuse, and school dropout rates.
As a society, we also need to reinforce the importance of George Will's three rules for avoiding poverty.
1. Graduate from high school.
2. Don't have a baby until you are married.
3. Don't marry while you are a teenager.
What I'd like to know is ... why has this number risen so dramatically over the last 20 years? Conservatives (the small-c kind) will say it's because of overly generous welfare entitlements that make it easy for people to walk away from the financial unit of the family. Liberals (the small-l kind) will say it's because of the global economy and things like free trade that have caused job losses and other types of economic hardships that put stress on families.
What does the panel think?
posted by Road Hammer @ 3:42 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I agree with that assessment. If you are so committed, stand up in front of your friends and family and say so in a marriage ceremony. It doesn't need to cost 25K to do that.
I also think that there is too much of a "quitter" mentality in society ... in other words, when the going gets tough, people just go "ah, F it" and don't try hard to work things out. It's a symptom of the 500-channel universe ... you don't like what you see? Just flip the channel because something better is just around the corner ...
I'm not sure of everyone here's family history, but my parents are divorced so I may come to this from a different angle.
First of all, the need for education can't be stressed enough and I am in total agreement that we need to try harder to keep people in through the end of high school, and also do a better job teaching the difficulties of single parenthood. Sex education should aslo be stressed. I remember my sex ed classes in high school being a complete joke.
I also agree with the quitter mentality that people will move on when things get tough. I'd like to see more couples go through marriage counselling but have my doubts wether or not that will ever happen.
However, I think the single biggest reason single parenthood is on the rise is because more women are working, and of those women, more are in professional positions and in a better financial situation to support a child on their own. While marriage is in theory a romantic union, in practice it is has become an economic union. I don't think that's a good thing but it's the truth. Many women in decades past didn't have the career skills or training required to support themselves, let alone a child, now many of them do. I also think people are starting to realize that no marriage is better than a terrible marriage. I think this is especially true if children are involved.
I also agree that kids need a mom and dad with one tweak. They need a mother figure and father figure, not necessarily their own mom and dad. Would you rather a child have a verbally and physically alcoholic abusive mother, or have them live with a single dad with an aunt near by who is caring and nurturing? I personally had a terrible father, but was fortunate enough to have a loving grandfather who took a vested interest in my development and became my father figure.
Just my thoughts...
On sex ed, maybe they should domes that don't feel like you are showering with your bathing suit on and teens would be more likely to use them.
Great call on the mother/father figure.
I wonder if subsidized day care would make it easier for people to walk away from marriage. I would say that while a lot of single moms in fact do have the means to support themselves, there are a lot of others who wouldn't be able to do it without the state footing a lot of the bill through things like the Child Tax benefit.
I think it might make it more economically viable, but if something like socialized day care is the reason you arer getting divorced, the marriage was probably beyond saving. For that matter, anybody who claims that new day care initiatives helped them get divorced should be publicly lashed with a horse whip.
I agree with skeelo that the increase in number of single moms is probably due in large part to the fact that women now have the means to support themselves and therefore, the choice to either raise a child on their own to begin with, or leave a dysfunctional marriage.
Also, divorce and single parenthood do not carry the social stigma they once did.
I think the having a mother / father figure, and good parenting (from one or two parents) is more important to the development of a child than having a married mother and father.
On the divorce / marriage note, I personally regard marriage as a very meaningful ritual that brings together friends and families, and that the couple is not alone in their partnership. In addition to uniting two individuals, marriage also bonds their families, and it's a wonderful thing.
I also think too many people go into marriage lightly nowadays, knowing its easy enough to get a divorce if they want one down the road.
To begin to answer the question of why the numbers of single parents / divorces have increased, we probably need to answer the question "what is marriage for" ? Has that answer changed over the last 20-30 years? It probably has.
We're a lot less pragmatic and more idealistic about marriage as a society than in decades past. Inevitably, marriage will in some cases (increasingly) fail to live up to our expectations.
Ultimately, I believe the old adage of "it takes a village to raise a child". Whether that village includes a married mom and dad, a married mom and mom, divorced mom and dad, or a single mom with extended support network of loving friends and family probably doesn't matter much if the child is given what they need to thrive emotionally, physically and mentally.
I speculate that as we see more non-traditional households and families succeed and more children coming from these non-traditional households and growing up to be happy, functional adults, we may see less people getting married, and thus, less people getting divorced in future generations.
I'm all for choice, and getting married should be a choice, not something that is imposed on women by a lack of economic resources or an overly traditional society.
Family should come first, it just so happens that we are in the process of redefining "family".
Road Hammer...
One more thing...
"The long-term societal costs of single parenthood are huge in terms of crime, drug abuse, and school dropout rates."
Did you ever take stats in school? "Correlation does not causation make"
While there may very well be a correlation between the rise in single parenthood and increases in crime, drug abuse, dropout rates, etc.. that does not mean single parenthood is the cause.
Does the fact that single parents are more likely to live below the poverty line mean we need less single parents? or should we be doing a better job of addressing poverty and giving single parents the tools their need to succeed (i.e. affordable high quality day care)? do we need better parenting skills by both single and married parents? or just less single parents? hmmmm....
Good one, Chiquita ... you make some really thought-provoking points.
You are right. Kids who have "issues" don't always come from single parent families, and there are a lot of successful kids who do come from single parent homes. My own feelings, right or wrong, are that a kid's chances for success decrease if they don't have strong mother and father figures present, and all else being equal, I think the nuclear family provides the best environment for that. That being said, it doesn't always work out that way ... there are poor yet intact marriages, and healthy families that are not traditional in their structure.
I really respect and admire those single parents who are making a go of it, though. It takes more courage than I have, that's for sure.
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