Blockbuster deal

A huge trade in the NHL tonight as Boston trades perennial Art Ross Trophy contender Joe Thornton to San Jose for streaky forward Marco Sturm, steady top four defenceman Brad Stuart and journeyman Wayne Primeau.

If you are a Bruins fan, and thankfully I'm not, this has got to sting. The Bruins just game up one of the best players in the league - not just today but for years to come - for three decent but hardly awe-inspiring players (none of whom are anywhere close to all-star caliber).

Every year for the past fifteen years, when it looks like the Boston franchise is close to stepping up and grabbing that brass ring, they do something that just screws everything up. This is no different. The problem lies in the front office and until they clean that up, Bruins fans will continue to suffer. President Harry Sinden is the Steinbrenner of hockey in terms of ego, refusal to take advice and interference with personnel decisions.

Thornton should thrive out West and may help San Jose repcapture their Western Conference-final form of 2004.

Ray Bourque and Cam Neely, are you guys sure you want to be part of this?

Ignatieff II

Now, Michael Ignatieff is being decried as a war monger because he supports a free and democratic Iraq. While official Liberal policy was against sending troops to Iraq, Paul Martin said that in a political party, people are free to disagree. I give Martin credit for standing by his candidate. I also think it's a shame that someone as learned as Ignatieff has to put up with this small-minded bullshit in Etobicoke-Lakeshore, including people wearing Bush masks in protest and accusing him of not being a real Canadian. Welcome home to our petty little polity, Mr. Ignatieff. Aren't you glad you left Harvard now?

From one who's been there

Monte Solberg gives his take on who is REALLY obsessed with same-sex marriage here.

Clue: It isn't the politicians.

Hedonism at its worst

Here's an article on polyamorous relationships. Basically, it means that each spouse's "piece on the side" is considered a part of the family. Now, I know there are some who will say "if they love each other, who cares?" but if children are involved, I think this is just plain wrong.

You just don't raise kids in this kind of environment. How are they going to grow up with a healthy sense of the way relationships function if people are dropping in for a little action whenever the mood moves them?

The newest civil libertarian cause

Maclean's is reporting that an Ohio imam, who is about to be deported on terrorism-related charges, is eyeing Canada as a potential destination:

Damra, who is the imam, or spiritual leader, at the Islamic Center of Cleveland, immigrated to the United States in the mid-1980s.

In his criminal trial last year, prosecutors showed video footage of Damra and other Islamic leaders raising money for an arm of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad, which has been listed as a major terrorist group by the State Department since 1989.

Jurors also were shown footage in which Damra called Jews "the sons of monkeys and pigs" during a 1991 speech and said "terrorism and terrorism alone is the path to liberation" in a 1989 speech.

U.S. District Judge James Gwin sentenced the cleric to two months in prison and four months in home detention and stripped him of his U.S. citizenship. Damra served the prison time from November 2004 to January of this year.

I have no doubt that this man will not be allowed to live in Canada. However, what is less likely would be the civil libertarians agreeing with that decision. They'll say that Canada is losing its identity and is just following Washington's directives in the war on terror. They'll say that the spirit of the Charter dictates that we should allow this guy the right to settle here and start anew. They'll ask what happened to Canadian values.

Can't you just see it now?

It's time to outFOX them

Rear Admiral Ian Mack, former Canadian defence attaché in DC, suggests here that Canadians need to do a better job engaging FOX:

Rear-Admiral Mack also says it is time Canadian politicians learnt how to engage Fox News to counter the hostile attitude the network has towards Canada's policies. The network, which started operating in 1996 to 17 million cable subscribers, quickly overtook rival networks like CNN and became America's most watched news channel. It is believed that Fox News has 85 million subscribers in the U.S as of Jan. 2005. Critics claim it has a conservative bias. Two years ago the network applied for a license to operate in Canada, but was denied by the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC). Rear-Admiral Mack says Fox is the main source of news for U.S. policymakers, and Canadian politicians should not ignore it.

I agree. Instead of sneering at it, laughing at it, or lampooning it (this means you, Rick Mercer), Canadians should recognize that FOX is arguably the biggest player on the US media scene. It's time to get with it if we want our message to be heard south of the border. And please accept my apologies for the lame title of this post.

Canadians taken hostage? It's all W's fault

If only the US and UK would leave Iraq, the jihadists would stop the beheadings and start leading everyone in John Lennon sing-alongs.

Right?

My hopes and prayers go to the families of the captives for their safe return.

Karla free and clear

Karla Homolka is now free as a bird.

No conditions on her parole, no restrictions of any kind, no nothing.

This could be a problem for the Liberals. A development like this could be a flashpoint for the undercurrent of anger surrounding the Canadian justice system (even though it was the Bob Rae-led Ontario NDP government who negotiated the sweetheart deal with her in the first place.) Martin better get out in front of this one or it could blow up in his face in the 905 area code, especially. If I were him, I'd talk about the need for a review of the corrections and conditional release system in Canada. This is an issue that is tailor-made for the Conservatives, and Martin cannot afford to look soft on violent crime.

Album Review: "Intensive Care" by Robbie Williams

British brat Robbie Williams released his latest offering about one month ago. After a few listens, I'm of mixed opinions on it.

In similar fashion to his last disc, "Escapology", there are about two outstanding tunes and two decent ones, with the rest being fair to middling. Highlights on this album include "Tripping", "Please Don't Die", "The Trouble With Me" and "King of Bloke and Bird". However, the similarities end there. This disc sounds far less urgent than Robbie's earlier work. I wouldn't say that he has mailed in his performance, but think of Genesis' "Mama" compared to Phil Collins' later tripe like "You'll Be In My Heart" and you'll get a good picture of how Williams is in grave danger of making his way to adult contemporary bliss.

Sonically, the production on this album is sparkling yet inoffensive at the same time, which shows that the cheeky monkey act we saw with "Rock DJ" and "Let Me Entertain You" is fading. Whether one chalks that up to maturity or just a different style is best left to the individual listener.

As for breaking through in the States, I don't think this album is the one to do it, which I think suits Williams, if not his record label, just fine. However, a "special guest" slot on a Coldplay tour or a co-headlining tour with, say, a healthy Kylie Minogue of venues in major North American markets could help the cause.

I would recommend that if you're jonesing for some new Robbie Williams, just get the tracks I mentioned above online and instead, plop your cash down on his fantastic "What We Did Last Summer" DVD.

Overall, I give this disc a rating of 5.5/10. I wish I could rate it higher.

Profiles in liberal hyprocrisy continued

Loudmouth lefty Don Henley recently accepted a cool wad of cash to play at the bat mitzvah for the daughter of a Long Island defense contractor.

Aerosmith, another band hired for the occasion, picked up a cool $2 mil for the gig.

No doubt every penny of the cash will go to Henley's latest cause du jour.

You're so vain, Belindy

University dropout-cum-Minister of Human Resources Development has written a letter to volunteers from her 2004 campaign, excerpts of which can be read here.

How far up one's own ass can one possibly be? As if the Tory campaign in Newmarket-Aurora didn't have enough motivation to take that seat. Perhaps she can call up Joe Clark and see if he's got any time in his schedule to go door-knocking.

Bush to lay out next steps on Iraq

In the first of four speeches to be delivered in advance of democracy's next victory in the Middle East (I'm referring to the Iraq elections scheduled for December 15), President Bush is going to spell out the next steps in the transition which should ultimately lead to withdrawal.

And as this observer points out, what happens in Iraq in the medium-term is going to be the determining factor for any potential nominee for either party's nomination in '08.

A look at the election from the Economist

The Economist predicts another Liberal minority.

This story once again reinforces the fact that the internal Quebec dynamic drives everything in Canadian politics. It also shows that even across the pond, Harper is seen in an unflattering light.

And what, no picture of Jack? I wonder why.

The aging population

While campaigning in Quebec today, Paul Martin observed that there are now 5 workers for every 1 retiree in Canada, and in ten years that will decrease to a 3:1 ratio.

He also said that in order to ensure that seniors can be taken care of, we have to reduce the national debt.

I wholeheartedly agree.

It's good to see a Liberal actually talking policy during a campaign instead of just flinging mud. We would never have seen this level of detail out of Chretien.

Walking the tightrope on gay marriage II

It has now become clear that Harper would introduce a motion to the House asking them if they want to have a free vote on repealing the definition of marriage.

Regardless of whether or not you are pro- or anti-gay marriage, this is an issue that relates to Parliamentary supremacy over the courts. In other words, does the Charter trump everything, including the will of elected representatives? If you say yes, I would ask why did the drafters of the Charter include section 33, allowing for legislatures to use the notwithstanding clause to opt out? It should also be recognized that the Supreme Court refused to rule on whether or not the heterosexual definition of marriage is one which violates the Charter.

Now, in terms of the politics of it, Harper had to come out swinging. He has been clear since day one that his view of marriage is a traditional one, yet he would respect all of the legal rights and privileges of those who were in same-sex unions. His base is also counting on this issue because it is a mobilizing one for them. He couldn't say, if asked by a reporter, that "same-sex marriage is off the table" because if he did, he'd lose probably three-quarters of his campaign workers right then and there. This is also a big issue for recent immigrants to Canada, which is a voting bloc the Tories need to make inroads with. On the other hand, the Alex Munter/Libby Davies crowd was certainly not going to run over to Harper, no matter what his position on gay marriage was.

All that being said, I know there are a lot of progressive or libertarian Conservatives who are disappointed by Harper's belief in the supremacy of Parliament. I would suggest that if you fall into this category, you work to get a pro same-sex Tory elected, like John Baird, James Moore, Jim Prentice or Gerald Keddy, for example.

Let's also remember that there are a lot of fiscally conservative Liberals who are against altering the definition of marriage. I don't think this Charter argument is going to find traction with Canadians when up to a third of the backbench of the Liberal party (including every single Scarborough MP) voted against C-38. Martin could do better and I think he should tone down the rhetoric. Let the NDP take the moral high ground ... after all, that 's that party that boots people out if they don't support gay marriage. So much for tolerance, diversity and a big tent, huh, Jack?

Walking the tightrope on gay marriage

Harper got out in front of the gay marriage issue first thing today.

My reading of the situation is that he would allow for a democratic free vote on the issue if - and that is a big if - it were to be brought before Parliament again.

It is unclear if a Harper-led cabinet would reintroduce it, or if he is simply signalling his willingness to consider a private member's bill on the issue should it get to third reading (an unlikely possibility at best).

He would also respect those marriages already legalized and also would support civil unions.

I would like to think he was talking about a private members' bill. If he was, that sounds reasonable to me. If he wasn't, despite the fact that members of all parties (and a significant number of Metro Toronto Liberals, I might add) voted against Bill C-38, I think he would be ill-advised to re-open this debate. In other words, follow the Reagan tack on abortion.

In other related news, it seems that the usual suspects are up to their old tricks (see here and here.) I'd like to ask the militant gay lobby the following two questions:

First, whatever happened to tolerance?

Second, who's got the REAL hidden agenda?

Fatwas all around

A frightening look at some of the more excessive practices by radical Islamists in suppressing free speech here.

At Rideau Hall, they're so open-minded their brains are falling out

Hat tip to Danny Kaye for this piece of left-wing lunacy. Of course, we'll soon be into the season of "winter parties" and the like.

While on the subject of defending Judeo-Christian traditions, I'm reminded of the time we had a multicultural lunch at a former workplace and I brought potato chips and Coke to celebrate the culture of America.

That didn't go over all too well. Bah humbug, I say.

Tradition trumps inclusiveness
It's a Christmas tree

Joanne Laucius, The Ottawa Citizen
Published: Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Rideau Hall performed a rapid about-face on the name of its seasonal evergreen yesterday after a staff member called it a "holiday tree" in a CBC interview.

"At Rideau Hall, we will be putting up a holiday tree as we find it reflects the traditions of many cultures, and it is inclusive," Rideau Hall spokeswoman Lucie Brosseau said.

Not so fast. Soon after, in response to a query from the Citizen, Gov. Gen. Michaelle Jean's spokesman said there had been a mistake. It was a Christmas tree after all.

The Governor General had always intended for the tree to be of the Christmas variety, Randy Mylyk said, but there was an error by a "well-intentioned" employee.

"In her life experience it was always a Christmas tree," said Mr. Mylyk of the Governor General, adding that at Rideau Hall the tree has always been called a "Christmas tree."

"We've had a few calls," he said. "We spoke to Her Excellency and clearly, it was her intent that it was to be a Christmas tree."

The Christmas-holiday confusion comes a week after a Canadian tree donated to the city of Boston became a hot-button issue. Boston bureaucrats attracted the ire of a Nova Scotia logger by calling the 14-metre white spruce he donated to the city a "holiday tree" in a press release.

Last week, after evangelist Jerry Falwell's Liberty Counsel threatened to sue Boston for spreading misinformation about Christmas celebrations in public places, logger Donnie Hatt said if he knew Boston had decided to call his spruce a "holiday tree" he would have put it through the wood chipper.

Boston Mayor Thomas Menino told reporters last Thursday that he would call the spruce a Christmas tree.

"I grew up with a Christmas tree, I'm going to stay with a Christmas tree," he said.

Album Review: "One Way Ticket to Hell ... And Back" by the Darkness

Campy Brits the Darkness carry on their Queen meets AC/DC schtick with this release, produced by the legendary Sir Roy Thomas Baker.

The disc kicks off with the title track, which is burning up rock radio as we speak. This leads into a tune called "Knockers":

They say your pushing 30
Well, pushing 30 stone.

Now, that is some great stuff.

The layering of the falsetto vocals and the screaming guitar solos continue into "Dinner Lady Arms", hitting a peak with a tune called "Bald", which could possibly be the best track on the album and is the greatest ode to premature hair loss since Rush released "I Think I'm Going Bald" on their 1975 album "Caress of Steel".

The last three tunes on the album take a dip, especially the tune "English Country Garden" which is a bit of vocal wankery, which I'm sure they love in the UK but I find a little hard to swallow. (I'm hopeful that the last third of the album will grow on me.)

All told, this disc is a strong follow-up to the Darkness' debut, "Permission to Land", and I would say exceeds their first effort. I give this disc a strong 7.5 and expect that if you ask me a month from now, I'll probably rate it a full point higher.

Now, how about a tour, lads?

"A Truman-JFK Democrat in a McGovern-Carter Party"

In an article titled "Our Troops Must Stay: America Can't Abandon 27 Million Iraqis to 10,000 Terrorists", Senator Joe Lieberman reminds readers of the good news in the Middle East in today's Wall St. Journal:

Progress is visible and practical. In the Kurdish North, there is continuing security and growing prosperity. The primarily Shiite South remains largely free of terrorism, receives much more electric power and other public services than it did under Saddam, and is experiencing greater economic activity. The Sunni triangle, geographically defined by Baghdad to the east, Tikrit to the north and Ramadi to the west, is where most of the terrorist enemy attacks occur. And yet here, too, there is progress.

Before going to Iraq last week, I visited Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Israel has been the only genuine democracy in the region, but it is now getting some welcome company from the Iraqis and Palestinians who are in the midst of robust national legislative election campaigns, the Lebanese who have risen up in proud self-determination after the Hariri assassination to eject their Syrian occupiers (the Syrian- and Iranian-backed Hezbollah militias should be next), and the Kuwaitis, Egyptians and Saudis who have taken steps to open up their governments more broadly to their people. In my meeting with the thoughtful prime minister of Iraq, Ibrahim al-Jaafari, he declared with justifiable pride that his country now has the most open, democratic political system in the Arab world. He is right.

The question is whether the American people and enough of their representatives in Congress from both parties understand this. I am disappointed by Democrats who are more focused on how President Bush took America into the war in Iraq almost three years ago, and by Republicans who are more worried about whether the war will bring them down in next November's elections, than they are concerned about how we continue the progress in Iraq in the months and years ahead.

Two-thirds say they are better off than they were under Saddam, and a resounding 82% are confident their lives in Iraq will be better a year from now than they are today. What a colossal mistake it would be for America's bipartisan political leadership to choose this moment in history to lose its will and, in the famous phrase, to seize defeat from the jaws of the coming victory.

Take that, Dean, Sheehan and Moore.

My 30 point plan for making Canada a better place

Here is what I'm looking for on each of the issues that will come up in this campaign (not that anyone should care):

Economy:

1. An acceleration the personal income tax cuts already scheduled to take place and a flattening of the tax brackets.
2. A hold on spending. Ten years ago, the federal government spent about $100 billion a year. Now, it's up to $180 billion. This is madness. And pay down that frickin' debt.
3. Expand free trade whenever and wherever you can.

National security:

4. More targeted spending on things like urban transit security and borders. We are on al-Qaeda's list and we are vulnerable. Let's prevent an attack before it happens.
5. A strong defence of the Anti-Terrorism Act.

Foreign Policy:

6. A vigourous defense of our efforts in Afghanistan and by extension, a defense of Western liberal democratic values.
7. Support for UN reform. Broaden the Security Council to include India and Brazil, among others.
8. Giving Israel a fair shake.
9. Encourage reform in the Third World to reduce corruption and introduce democratic, market-oriented policy frameworks.

National unity:

10. Defend the Clarity Act and speak the truth to Quebeckers about sovereignty.

Justice:

11. Mandatory minimums for violent crime.
12. A reform of the parole system. Don't end conditional release but limit it.
13. Scale back the gun control program. It's of use, but a limited one at that.
14. Don't move on the decrim of dope. The penalties are fine the way they are.

Environment:

15. Scrap Kyoto. The "science" is bogus.

Indian Affairs:

16. Take a good hard look at what 35 years of the Indian Act has wrought (Kasechewan, anyone?) and take steps to end the culture of dependency.

Transportation and infrastructure:

17. Open up Canadian domestic travel to foreign carriers (I don't want to pay a grand to go visit my sister in Winnipeg, dammit).
18. Get out of the business of funding municipal infrastructure programs. Stop overtaxing Canadians and give the local level the tax room to take care of it.

Immigration:

19. Place more emphasis on the economic and entrepreneurial class of immigrants rather than the family class.
20. Make sure you properly fund the provinces in the areas of English as a second language training so they aren't left holding the bag for federal immigration practices.
21. Put an end to the bleeding heart refugee system.

Health care

22. Allow for the provinces to experiment with private delivery within a public system.

Families

23. Let the provinces deal with day care and keep the feds out of it.

Heritage:

24. Make the funding requirements for arts projects more stringent (I believe there is a role for government here but too much of what qualifies as "art" are the politically motivated dribblings of stoned twenty-somethings);
25. Merge CBC Newsworld with the main network and do the same in French Canada.

Agriculture:

26. Put an end to farm subsidies. Now.

Civil service:

27. End the practice of priority staffing for ex-politicos.
28. Loosen bilingualism requirements (don't eliminate it, just reduce it) and scrap any and all hiring quotas.

Democratic reform:

29. Set fixed election dates.
30. Look at proportional representation (the way the system is now, the separatists hold the balance of power, and that's not good for anyone).

The class of 2006

Thumbs up to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame on their inspired choices for the class of 2006.

First up, Black Sabbath (pictured above). Admittedly, not everyone's cup of tea, but along with Purple, Zeppelin and the Who, responsible for so much that came after them. No Sabbath? No Metallica, Queens of the Stone Age or Pearl Jam. Low-down and dirty riffs, with thought-provoking lyrics that are the perfect remedy to the drudgery of suburban existence. Forget Neil Young ... Sabbath are the original godfathers of grunge.

Blondie. "Heart of Glass" ... a picture perfect bit of pop candy. Everyone's guilty pleasure. I also defy you to listen to the extended version of "Rapture" and admit that it doesn't bring dirty thoughts to mind.

Miles Davis. "Kind of Blue" is essential, even if most of his "fans" are pompous poseurs who don't know a thing about jazz.

Lynyrd Skynryd. "Sweet Home Alabama", their love letter to the South, is timeless. Along with their Atlanta cousins the Allmans, they brought out the more edgy side of the country/rock marriage first pioneered by the Eagles in the early 70s and are one of the entry points into the genre known as classic rock.

Sex Pistols. Brash. Ballsy. British. Green Day are a joke compared to the original anti-establishment punks that flamed out almost as soon as they lit up. You can bet that in twenty-five years, bands are still going to be covering the Pistols, like Velvet Revolver did on their spring tour this year with "Bodies".

Each of these inductees deserves a place in the Hall and it's a great group.

That's it

Well, Parliament has just dissolved.

At this stage of the game, I am either going to vote Conservative or spoil my ballot. Here's why.

Although I know there are a lot of good, right-leaning Liberals, I cannot bring myself to vote for the party of linguistic and ethnic preferences when it comes to hiring in the civil service, not to mention everything else that comes along with voting for the party of Trudeaupia.

As for the Tories, I think that they have totally watered themselves down and in so doing have not shown a lot of courage or leadership. If I wanted to support a party that straddles the centre, I'd vote Liberal. Moreover, I don't think that there is enough professionalism or competence in that party to outright win my support. That being said, if they put the conservative back into the Conservative party during the campaign, I'll be back on board.

Spoiling my ballot? Well, it still counts as a vote, but for "none of the above". That's the best way to go at this point.

Ignatieff

I think Michael Ignatieff is excellent. I've got three of his books and I think that he's going to make Parliament a better place once he wins his seat in Etobicoke-Lakeshore. However, I think that he's going to become very disillusioned with Ottawa very quickly. The guy is too good for Canadian politics.

And shame on the Conservatives for playing into the multiculturalism madness around his views on the Ukraine from 12 years ago. Can we set the bar any lower, people?

On the subject of anniversaries ...

... here's a fun article celebrating what the author refers to as the greatest Cold War movie ever made - Rocky IV. I'd have to say I put Top Gun above it, but there's nothing better than chilling out on a late Saturday afternoon, flipping channels and realizing that you're about to see Drago vs. Balboa on the Superstation.

Here we go again

With the Bloc and PQ doing well in Quebec, it's obvious that another referendum is on its way, and if this is any indication, attitudes in English Canada are hardening.

I have a feeling that national unity is going to be the sleeper issue of the campaign, especially with Boisclair stating that he will outright ignore the Clarity Act and Martin, Lapierre and (apparently) Harper reticent to defend it.

Steyn Online turns 3

Happy turd burtday to Steyn Online. Here's to many more years of turning sacred cows into hamburger.

The view from south of the 49th

Here, an expat looks at the upcoming election and interprets the Canadian political dynamic for an American audience. Worth a read, if only to remind yourself of just how second-tier things have become in our fair land.

Grey Cup

Once again, the much underappreciated CFL put on a great show last night. Edmonton beat Montreal in overtime to take the Cup home and stuck it to all those "Olay, olay, olay"-singing Euro-wannabees. I'd rather hear nails on a chalkboard.

Vive la difference

Thought-provoking piece here on how some elements of the radical left want to reduce society's recognition of gender differences to almost nil. The author has it right when she says that kids need parents of both genders.

Hitchens in Toronto

Christopher Hitchens recently gave a speech in Toronto and the National Post reprints it in today's edition. I have to admit that I am getting sick of this debate, but anytime Hitch speaks, I pay attention. Check it out.

Parenthood

My old ball hockey pal Ann Marie McQueen weighs in on child-rearing here. There's no doubt that too many parents make their kids the centre of the universe and insulate them from all kinds of things that help to build character. I believe that a big part of being a parent is teaching your kids how to fail, and it's clear that not enough parents are willing to do that.

Krauthammer on Torture

Charles Krauthammer examines the McCain amendment banning torture in the Weekly Standard, and finds that McCain's absolutism has more to do with the moral high ground rather than any practical realities.

I agree.

Thumbs up to Dick Cheney for going out on a limb and being one of the only voices in Washington who is suggesting that the US must reserve the right to act in some unnice ways in order to procure information from terrorists which may prevent some future mass murder against civilians.

It's not a stark choice, as Krauthammer points out.

48 and counting

Excellent profile here in today's Globe and Mail on the dynamics behind the "wall of silence" surrounding Toronto's black community and the spate of gun violence that has plagued the city this year.

It seems that everyone is afraid to come forward as witnesses due to the links to gangs. It is also clear that the ringleaders behind all this are Jamaican crime bosses who import their turf wars from their homeland. What I would ask is this: how do these thugs get in here in the first place?

Who is going to have the guts to ask that question over the course of the election campaign?

I said pardon?

The Ottawa Citizen is reporting today that the federal Conservatives have asked certified lunatic Rachel Marsden to run against Jack Layton in his riding.

Doesn't anyone do their homework at CPC HQ? This woman has more baggage than a J Lo charter flight. For starters, just ask Michael Coren, who refuses to have her on his show again after her horrendous Ann Coulter-on-a-budget routine earlier this summer.

Smarten up, Harper.

Beavis: "What do you know, asswipe?" St. Peter: "I know everything, buttmunch."

A look back at the greatness of Beavis and Butt-head from Slate magazine, here.

The Ant and the Grasshopper

The only thing missing in the Canadian version is that every other insect on God's green earth was forced to speak the grasshopper's language if they wanted a job in the government.

***********

The Ant and the Grasshopper

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why
the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table
laden with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of
the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special
from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall
Overcome."

Sven Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has
gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the
summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire
grasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US, and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the
ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house
he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him
because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a
commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it
on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair
arising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised
by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who
promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

THE END

Rescuing Canada's Right

Caught the two authors of Rescuing Canada's Right, Tasha Kheiriddin and Adam Daifallah, on the Michael Coren Show this morning, and I found it to be a mixed bag.

First, they made a number of suggestions in analysing the Liberal party that I think are a little facile. To suggest that Liberals look to the state to fix every problem in society is incorrect, and to say that Liberals advocate equality of result instead of equality of opportunity is also a myth. What I think is more accurate is to suggest that Liberals believe in using the power of the state to assist certain groups in order to build what I would call "clientism" in order to form a winning coalition.

I don't think that David Emerson or Ken Dryden or Scott Brison, to take three prominent examples, are looking to the state to solve society's problems. Each of these individuals are extremely grounded in business. I don't think they care a bit about the role of government in eradicating poverty or what have you. What I think they do care about, though, is getting into and retaining power, and they realize in order to do so, the party that they joined has traditionally played up to ethnic and cultural communities, the aboriginal industry (yes, it is an industry), Quebecers and other parts of Canadian society to build a winning coalition. Sometimes, this means that you focus the ability of the government to certain ends. It doesn't mean that you look to the state to solve society's problems. It just means you know how to play on the issues of identity, culture, language and immigration. Cynical, but it works.

This is what separates Liberals from Tories. They have built-in constituencies and pander to them in order to retain power. The Tories tried to do the same thing to the same groups in the 80s and it failed. Liberals are also a lot better at identifying potential clients and getting in there early. Witness day care, for example. I think a lot of women, even in Western Canada, would love to have cheaper day care. What Tories need to do are to find their own constituency groups. One that they have in their pocket are the Bible thumpers. Fine, that's one. But they need to be able to marry these groups in a way that the presence of one doesn't exclude any others, by definition. Coren got into this with Daifallah and Kheiriddin a little bit when he asked them how you marry Alberta's social conservatism with Quebec's libertarianism. They really didn't have an answer to that question. This is the fundamental issue. They need to look at what coalition they need to build to win, and play to those groups while identifying new ones to capture.

I was also disappointed that these two standard bearers of the "new wave of Canadian conservatism" (if that even exists) hadn't thought about a conservative position on the Iraq war. The war on terror is the defining issue of the West right now. They also had not thought about Third World debt. These are issues that the Liberals have thought of because they know it has constituency with some of their clients (cultural groups). Conservatives, at the very least, need a response.

What the appearance of Kheiriddin and Daifallah showed is that Canadian right wingers have a long way to go. I know a lot of right wingers who find their political home in the Liberal party because they have accepted certain realities and are comfortable in doing so in order to govern. This shouldn't be happening. Conservatives need to take a long hard look in the mirror and instead of being defensive, blaming the media, whatever, they need to admit that they leave a lot to be desired.

This doesn't mean moderation, this means finding better ways of doing business. And that means identifying and building a coalition rather than just hoping beyond hope that this tactic or that is going to work this time around. It won't.

A turn for the better?

The fallout from the November 9 attack by al-Qaeda in Amman, Jordan is starting to bear fruit.

King Abdullah of Jordan is speaking out against extremism and is imploring others to do so as well. Also, the view that violence against civilians is sometimes justifiable is starting to decline in the Arab world, and it is reasonable to expect that they would be lower now, especially in Jordan.

The attacks earlier this month, while deplorable, may have a silver lining.

Now this is some good stuff

Humourous forward I got today.

****
Apparently going around NY at the moment. 1st is a girl's apology
email for cheating on some guy. 2nd is his reply which was Bcc'd
to his entire address book. He makes some excellent points.

****

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I
feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying
that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all
the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last
person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at
all or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say
all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing.

I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can
even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is
thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I
feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The
world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me,
there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I
don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that
you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also
hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds
totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant
role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally
strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn't
reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate
me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a
terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do
to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting
with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever
imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and
I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that
you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time.

Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are
still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would
be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously
feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that
it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me
off, I really don't think I can handle that.

I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

RESPONSE:

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under
"L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care
less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting
to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a
load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for
45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so
long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "stupid
thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social
calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went
and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2
hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't
f**k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't
care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday.

Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and
Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have
to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good
news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person,
they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who
commands about as much respect as your average child porn
collector.

I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick
who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing
someone else in New Jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint
of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin
Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's
room.

The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump
into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser
last Saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time
it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin
class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
you do.

Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,

Brad

An opening for "sober and street-smart Democrats"

It has been rumoured in recent days that President Bush was talked out of bombing al-Jazeera by Tony Blair at some point in the not-too-distant past. As loathesome as al-Jazeera is, I hope this isn't true. It would have struck a death blow to the ongoing efforts of pro-Western forces in getting moderate Arabs on side with their efforts to expand democray in the Middle East, and I would think that the tacticians in the White House would have realized that.

Whether this is true or not, given the ongoing blunders in the Iraq war (which I unabashedly support), one of my intellectual heroes Victor Davis Hanson suggests here that there is an opening for Biden-like Dems to provide that third option that Americans are looking for. What they need to do to get the Democrats back in power is pull a McCain while not being pompous, self-promoting, piss-inside-the-tent assholes about it. What I mean is to distance oneself from the more extreme elements of their party to get independents and disaffected members of the other party on side without rubbing it in the face of your party's base. However, given the fact that Dems seem to never miss an opportunity to never miss an opportunity, I'm not sure if that wing of the party has the balls to take that risk, for the reasons Hanson points out above.

Election Predictor from Hill and Knowlton

Hat tip to Right Wing Tory for this nifty little piece of political geekdom. I love technology.

DVD Review - Jake "The Snake" Roberts - Pick Your Poison

Jake "The Snake" Roberts, one of the most popular wrestlers of all time (yet inexplicably, one who was never given any title of major significance), tells his story in this recent release from World Wrestling Entertainment. This package is fanctastic. On 2 DVDs, Jake tells his story, from his unfortunate beginnings (he is the byproduct of sexual abuse), through his troubled adolescence and how he broke into the wrestling business by taking bouts all across the South.

Years of alcohol and drug abuse have clearly taken their toll on Jake and it took me about ten minutes to be able to understand his speech. That being said, once the man starts telling stories, you can't help but pay attention. Of note are several bits; first, the recounting of his legendary feud with Ricky Steamboat (as a bonus, their August 1986 match from Toronto's CNE Stadium is included); his feelings about the infamous "Beyond the Mat" documentary, which he suggests was a sham; and differing perspectives that he and Hulk Hogan have on their planned feud, which was scheduled to begin in the fall of 1986 but scuttled for various reasons, depending on who you believe.

It is also interesting hearing different tales about how Jake came to involve ex-wife Cheryl Roberts in an angle with Rick Rude (one which really put Rude on the map as a massive "heel", or bad guy), and also what it was like to carry around a snake 24/7/365.

If you like documentaries, you'll enjoy this DVD even if you're not a wrestling fan. However, if, like me, you can't get enough of the interplay of backstage politics, athleticism and showmanship that go into making pro wrestling the strange yet entertaining beast that it is, you'll love it.

Overall, I give it a solid 8/10.

Welcome!!

Hello and welcome to the inaugaral post of my new blog, The Road Hammer. This blog stems from an earlier group weblog known as the Highwaymen, which folded earlier this year. In other words, this is a solo project for me. I hope it is just as successful, a bit less intense, and even more fun.

This is a place where you can come and comment on my ramblings on everything from the upcoming Canadian federal election to the war on terror to media commentary to reviews of books, movies and CDs. I try to not to take myself too seriously and so I hope that you won't, either. In that spirit, let's go!